November 30, 2011
Really not liking this aging thing…
My Dad turns 80 next week. You would never tell from looking at him — I have more gray hair on my head than he does! Up until last year he was perfectly healthy. He was one of those rare older people that didn’t have a pharmacy to make it through the day — in fact he was on no medicine. He was totally mobile and independent. He was the man I have always known.
Then last year in April, he apparently had a stroke. He got out of the shower and couldn’t remember any of the words of a poem he had been memorizing. He went to the poem and couldn’t read or understand the words. He chalked it up to being tired, so he drove himself to play bridge. Halfway through playing bridge it dawned on him that he probably had had a stroke, though none of the symptoms remained. So, he drove himself to the Doctor who told him that it probably was a stroke. He put him on a blood thinner and an aspirin regimen and sent him off.
In June, we went out for Father’s day. At dinner, he pointed out the big bleeds under the skin on his hand (something that had grossed out my daughter). He pointed to this bleed/bruise and said, “What scares me about this is that this [and he pointed to his hand] could just as easily be this [and he pointed to his head]“. That sent chills to my soul.
Sure enough, in August he had another stroke. This one was more severe and it’s damages didn’t go away. He had a bleed in the back of his brain. At first it was really scary because he couldn’t recall anything, even Mom’s favorite flower. Eventually it got better, but it left him with slightly impaired vision and it affected his recall a bit. At the hospital, they surmised he had a slit murmur and possibly it was caused by a clot. They took him off the blood thinner but kept him on the aspirin.
He went from being totally healthy and independent to never being able to drive again. That was hard, but he took it bravely.
Early October he had another stroke. Another bleed in the same area. This was even scarier especially for him because it practically left him blind and seeing only black and white. They did more tests and determined he has amyloid angiopathy … Where plaque builds up on the inside of the veins, especially in the brain, causing the little capillaries to be brittle and break easily and naturally with age. It is genetic. There is no cure.
A person with this issue should NEVER be on blood thinners or EVER take aspirin because a break in a blood vessel will cause a big bleed!!!!
I have to say this makes me angry with the Doctors who treated him. They decided to treat him, with NO evidence as if his strokes were caused by what they are commonly caused by. Clearly this was not the case, and their lack of discernment was to his physical detriment.
They took him off all blood thinners and aspirin. He has gone a year without strokes, but his eyesight is severely impaired and his short term memory is bad…he also can no longer multitask and gets confused, disoriented and nervous in unfamiliar places. This man is the smartest, wisest, strongest man I have ever known. I HATE seeing him like this and my heart bleeds for him . I can’t even imagine this world without him, but as my husband’s uncle says, “it is all part of the process.”
May I say for the record, I don’t like this “process”.
It makes my own mortality all too real. I am not 50 yet, but in the last few years I have developed small age spots onmy hands (which my daughter is quick to point out). I have so much gray hair now,that sparkles like tinsel when it catches any light, especially sunlight, that I HAVE todye it every 4 weeks! I now am dealing with plantar fasciitis and weight is gaining in me…not to mention hot flashes!
I am really not liking this aging thing. It is one thing I will be asking God when I get there. I love God and I trust Him, so I know it all workout in the end. I am not afraid of dying because ikniwwhe I a headed and it is WAY better than here. I just have to say I am not looking forward to the process.
